To Lip or Not To Lip


Day 14: A Beautiful Mess 30 day Self Portrait Challenge

Title: What Are the Bees Telling You?


I know that this photo challenge is supposed to help me love myself and point out the good things but I just want to say that my mouth is not one of my favorite parts of my body. I mean I like it in ways that my tongue is exposed to many different tastes from eating my favorite foods and I like how funny situations and spontaneous conversations tickle the parts of my heart to bring on a deep and wondrous laughter or how my smile can speak volumes in changing someones day but I despise the fact that it is the most difficult body part to control.

Ever had a ‘wish I could rewind’ experience? Well that’s me all because of my tongue and the words that come out of it. And when I think about it, it’s not actually my tongue but it’s whatever that is in my mind or on my heart. Words just have a way of rolling off of my tongue UNFILTERED! And I hate that!

And sometimes, I actually have the tendency to be mute and then people wonder if I’m okay. But I really am. It’s just that I’m trying my very best to not say anything tacky at the moment. The last thing I want to do is to offend anyone. I never want to be the offender but it happens!

Gossip is another thing that really gets me in a bind. And you never know how it truly feels to be the subject of gossip until it happens to you. That, to me, is the most effective way to hold my tongue in a conversation that has turned into gossip. There’s always gonna be something to talk about or there’s always someone who’s gonna have the best fishing tale.

There is a lesson learned when I gossip. When I am involved in gossip, I tend to think about it right before falling asleep and feeling bad for the things that may or may not have been true without the other person to be there to testify the real story. So I always have to be mindful of what comes out of my mouth. I must converse about things that build people up without the small petty info that I may have heard from my friend’s cousin’s wife’s aunty’s coworker’s yard guy’s, doctor’s nurse’s dog’s owner’s mechanic’s daughter’s teacher’s student’s cousin from Alaska.

Ever play that message game in grade school? The message game is an effective example of how words of a message can become distorted from even the beginning of launching a message. Every person is different and each and every person responds differently too. Sometimes a person may need to vent about a situation which is understandable. But when it gets repeated over and over again with more saucy details added to it, then it becomes a fixture of imagination in everyone’s mind who receives the message thus providing a false identity toward the person and subject who is not present at the moment.

How can I escape the temptation to gossip?

Think of and talk about ‘good’ things.

Think about the person that is the victim of the conversation.

The person is human and has feelings.

The person is someone’s child, someone’s parent, someone’s sibling, someone’s aunt or uncle, etc.

Change the subject.

State an honest fact about a situation without elaborate details and mention the good things that are happening.

Think about what I am grateful for.

Talk about the present moment and happenings.

It is easier said than done!

Prayer helps too. “Lord please help me to be a good friend. Help me to be non judging and mindful of the real situation. Help me to be a good listener in my relationships. Please rescue me from temptations to add detail to small petty conversations and speak words that are meaningful and encouraging to others. May the words of my mouth and may the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you. Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Amen

James 3
New International Version (NIV)
Taming the Tongue

3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

A calm and quiet demeanor can be one of my greatest strengths and I am better off using this strength rather than trying to kill a fire that has been set with my very own tongue. Gossip is not the only thing that does damage. There’s dishonesty, unkind words due to ones own interpretation of a situation, harsh words from being angry or even so-called kind words that aren’t meant from the heart too.

I must work harder at keeping that bit in my mouth. Giddy-ap horsey!

My Favorite Lip Service:
Filthy Farmgirl’s Creamy Coconut Smoochie, BURT’S BEES Natural Lip Gloss in Summer Twilight and Ocean Sunrise, REVLON ColorStay Lipliner in Sienna, Lancôme Juicy Tubes in Miracle, Lancôme L’ABSOLU ROUGE SPF 12 in Perfect Fig



Copyright 2013 Myra Halpern
All Rights Reserved

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